Character
• You may be well thought of because you rarely antagonize others or rarely want the spotlight.
• When treated fairly, you can be sound and stable and seen as a dedicated and devoted individual. You hesitate to say no and will seldom, if ever, attack.
• You are rather quiet and modest. You tend not to show assertiveness and are never domineering or egocentric. You prefer others to be in the spotlight rather than yourself.
• When meeting new people, you may be rather unassuming and mild mannered. You will be cooperative and easygoing in social groups and family events, because of an inherent need not to make waves or cause hostility.
• You become most comfortable in situations when the best offense is a good defense. You seldom act aggressively towards others, but will demonstrate a passive resistance from time to time.

Communication

• Your style shows you to be a much better listener than many other styles. You will listen carefully and attend to what others say. People who are talkative by nature may seek you out because of the natural audience you provide.
• In some new situations you may become somewhat unsure because of your need to feel secure in most activities. You will warm up to the new people or event in your own time.
• You would most likely not consider yourself an extremist on various issues, or in socializing with others. You do not need to be the center of attention like others, and in fact may feel rather uncomfortable when in the limelight.
• You generally communicate with others in a mild-mannered way. You do not like to make waves and create disharmony. As a result, you may defer your own ideas to those of others.
• Because of a need to avoid confrontation, you may not express an opinion. As a result, you may go along with others, even if you disagree with the activity, sacrificing your own self-interests to accommodate others.

My Strengths
• You are excellent at listening to your partner.
• You are very sincere in actions and words.
• You are a dependable and caring partner.
• You tend to be a very calming influence in heated situations.
• You are excellent at listening to the concerns and ideas of others.
• You are generally very patient with people.
• You are very respectful of the needs and wants of other people.
• You take pride in being very loyal to friends and family.
• You are good at helping others people to reach their goals.
• You tend to work hard at making sure that other people are happy.
• You tend to bring feelings of security and stability to a relationship.
• You like to gather facts and think things over before offering a strong opinion.

Its more or less confirmed that I'll be going to Advance Section Leader Course (ASLC). Had a good time chatting with my Platoon Commander about the platoon just now during my interview. Asked questions about what ASLC would be like.
"An average leader with a positive attitude. A bit slow at times. Has a good SOC timing of 8 minutes 51 seconds"
I'm not OCS material I guess...

The problem with you, Daryl, is that you're too honest. You cannot wayang. You cannot smooth talk your way through interviews. You cannot pretend to be what you're not. Your 'what-you-see-is-what-you-get' attitude, although honorable, is working against you now.

Its strange... My heart holds so many things but I don't know what they are. I feel a strange burden. God, please watch over my family, my friends and my future. I know you will and I will let go of my worries.

::: Verse of the Day :::
On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.
Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.
| Psalm 63:6-8 |

Today was so slack, it was boring!! Yes, yes I know... Complaining about things I should be grateful for. But all we did was march back & forth from the compant line to the canteen. Supposed to have a lecture in the auditorium behind the canteen but it ended up being a canteen break because of faulty AV equipment. I think we went to the canteen about 4 times today. Why do things like this happen when I have no money? Go figure...

Got a chance to watch Singapore beat Indonesia 2-1 yesterday night. The instructors set up a television set in front of the company. The Singapore squad look more like a complete team now. Hopefully their form will carry them into the SEA games. If they don't make it to the last 4 of the SEA games, they should be prepared to kiss goal 2010 goodbye...

Anyway, the outfield camp/exercise was surprisingly good. Kinda enjoyed the fighting patrols & ambush patrols. My night ambush exercise went pretty well except for 2 things. Night Vision Goggles & a minor screw up at the FRV. I shan't elaborate. Other than that, I think I enjoy this part of SISPEC. Maybe the tough part isn't here yet. But I trust that favour & grace will carry me through. I dare not imagine what I'll get myself into without Him.

2 days till I'm 22... Today I sat through another recruitment talk. They keep emphasising about having enough money to support your future family. They keep emphasising about how important it is to have a life plan. And how you're basically screwed if you don't. If you put 'logical' reality up against 'illogical' spirituality, which do you think makes more sense? Am I running into life unprepared? Is my desire to spend 2 years of my life in Rhema Bible School just a foolish ambition? The diploma that I'll get isn't even recognised by the methodist church!
Daryl... Can't you even throw yourself into God's work properly? Why of all things choose something that makes the least sense? Why choose something with the least security?

Doubt
You know what? I take comfort from the fact that doubt comes along my way. Because even Jesus had doubt. But more importantly, He knew His purpose & His desire was to please God. Doubt isn't the problem here. Its a natural human response to uncertainty. Its what you do with doubt that matters... Do you fall out? Lose the plot? Run away?
Or do you grit your teeth, clench your fists & stride forward with a quiet assurance and a smile in your heart that God is pleased with your obedience.

How can anything be more satisfying? However, I feel there's a need for some things to be left behind. To be a leader requires strength to shine forth. No more complaints. No more yearnings. However, new beginnings require new hope & motivation. I need to look past these 2 years...

Why God, why?!?
I was enjoying myself! I was having fun in SISPEC for the first time and it all had to be spoilt by me signing my first extra. When I was doing well. When I was cruising along. Why did this have to happen? What did I miss Lord? Where did I go wrong?

"...Whoever heeds correction gains understanding."
| Proverbs 15:32b |

"How much better to get wisdom than gold, to choose understanding rather than silver"
| Proverbs 16:16 |

"Understanding is a fountain of life to those who have it, but folly brings punishment to fools."
| Proverbs 16:22 |

Dear Lord... Teach me what I need to learn from this situation. Lord, you know it wasn't an intentional mistake. Lord, I pray for favour from my superiors. Lord, you know how much this long weekend means to me. If its possible, revoke the punishment. But most importantly, teach me to be joyful in all circumstances. Amen.

Here I am settled in my bunk. 7 minutes left before I really need to go to sleep. That feeling of dread wasn't very intense today. And it totally disappeared when I reached the company line.
Peace... There's nothing like it. But sometimes its so difficult to attain. Maybe if we stopped thinking of it as something to be attained but rather as the absence of worry. For example, on the way to Pasir Ris just now, I had to literally tell God, "I'm going to stop worrying now... If there's anything I forgot please let me know."

I guess thats why things are better now... Ok, I gotta go sleep now. The ASTW company opposite my window has turned out the lights & I'm writing in the dark. Thank You God in advance for a good night's rest.

Twenty-four hours... A measly twenty-four hours before they confine us for 2 weeks. Just too bad I guess.

Dear Lord... I pray that this time will be a good time of learning and new experiences. I pray against fear and anxiety. I pray against bad situations. I pray against feelings of dread and despair. I thank God for joy, wisdom, strength, endurance, patience and everything else that I might need.

Its just 2 weeks. Its not so bad. It can be done. It will be done.

Whoosh... We've been going outfield these few days and doing lots of section movement under fire and things like that. Its been surprisingly fun so far. I really enjoy fighting the 'invisible' enemy. And being able to lead the section provides a whole new experience for me. Many first time experiences...

I've been getting a lot of stick from my section mates though. Because of my 'relaxed' manner, they think I'm slacking off... Am I slacking?
I'm trying the best I can, learning as I go along. If my best isn't good enough, then maybe I don't deserve to be here.

Speaking of best, I hit a new personal best for the SOC trial test yesterday. 8 minutes 41 seconds. My previous best in BMT was 9 minutes 35 seconds. Today was the actual test and I was worried about muscle fatigue. Afraid that I wouldn't be able to keep that timing. But after committing it to God & clinging to Him for strength during the strenuous, torturous run, I managed to hit 8 minutes 51 seconds. Praise God for that!

Sleep calls. Last day of being sectino commander tomorrow. IF I can make an impact, I want to.

::: Quote of the Day :::
"All the time we are pursuing Him, realise that we already in His hand."

The grace of God has been overflowing this week. Or rather, my awareness of it has been heightened. The navigation exercise we had this week went pretty well. Managed to find every single checkpoint. But the most amazing thing was that I had the strength to walk for the entire day. I wouldn't be surprised if the total distance we walked for the navigation test was over 15km.

Today's SOC was postponed because of a drizzle... This is unheard of in SISPEC. Usually we continue in spite of the rain. I believe its God doing His thing with those in authority. I was telling God that my body could not take the SOC tests after the walking but I committed the situation to Him saying that if I had to run it, He would provide the strength & endurance. I was praying this just before the test when I was preparing my webbing. Training is getting tougher every week. But I think we're unwittingly preparing ourselves for whats coming up by endurance training like this.

Here we go again God...

::: Song of the Day :::
Into your hand, I commit again
All I am, for You Lord
You hold my world in the palm of your hand
And I am yours forever

I'll walk with You wherever I go
Through tears and joy I'll trust in You
And I will live in all of Your ways
And your promises forever

Jesus I believe in You
Jesus I belong to You
You're the reason that I live
You're the reason that I sing
With all I am

I will worship You...
| united live - with all i am |

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship.
| Romans 12:1 |

Usually the new year would warrant a celebration... But I haven't actually celebrated any occasion for over 3 years. But its not that I've been lying around depressed. It just seems to me that these are days worth noting, (as in note) and just spending with close family and friends. Maybe its time to look back on how this year has changed me.

Daryl, you've toned down
Its true... I accept the fact. Things that used to attract me don't seem so fun anymore. I'm not the wild experimenter I used to be. Although there are other not so good desires that have become stronger but I can't seem to bring myself to fulfill them. People tell me its because I've passed a phase. The point in life where a youth can be rebellious and rude. But I know, it is because my spirit doesn't allow me to.

Its been a fun year. Based on the photographs in my computer and the posts in my blog, I know I've been so blessed...

In a nutshell

JAN My last semester in Temasek Polytechnic My 21st birthday My last gig for cheapthrills Solar Energy won the XS Challenge Cookout FEB Prayed for purpose & direction in life Sessioned for Ignite in Love Day '04 MAR Soccer match with Bedok View classmates (lost 0-1) 3 Letter Session Album Launch Gig Passed NAPFA (Silver) Sessioned for SCGS concert APR TGI Good Friday Steamboat Organised Movie MagiXS (Screening of The Last Samurai) Rhema Bible School Open House MAY Passed Exams in Temasek Polytechnic Called to go to Chiang Mai with PLMC Cell Retreat in Johor Bahru JUN Boot Camp & Mission Trip European Cup 2004

JUL Soccer Match with PLMC (Won 3-1) Cousin Debbie's Wedding Baybeats '04 2nd Soccer Match with PLMC(Lost 2-4) A Vacant Affair's debut performance Volunteered as crew for Sonic Festival '04 AUG Chiang Mai Mission Trip with Charis Team Soccer Match with Raymond's friends (Drew 3-3) SEP Carnival @ Charis Enlistment into NS (BMT) OCT Field Camp NOV SIT Test DEC POP Parade Youth Camp XScapade Elpizo

The highlights of 2004... I pray that 2005 will bring more of the same.

::: Quote of the Day :::
Sow a thought, and you reap an act
Sow an act, and you reap a habit
Sow a habit, and you reap character
Sow character, and you reap destiny